


You're Perfectly Wrong for Me

by iget_tolovemalec



Category: Shadowhunters (TV)
Genre: A LOT of Angst, Alec's POV, Did I mention angst, M/M, Malec Angst, Malec Deserves Nice Things, Why Did I Write This?, asmodeus is an asshole, but theyre not getting it today, post 3x18, shawn mendes makes good music
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-07-01
Updated: 2019-07-01
Packaged: 2020-05-31 16:06:21
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,702
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19429420
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/iget_tolovemalec/pseuds/iget_tolovemalec
Summary: Alec walked away from his mother's shop as fast as he could and tried holding back the tears threatening to fall down from his eyes, hoping he could take it all back.Wishing that the memories would stop replaying in his head.Imagining what it would be like if his shirts were still in Magnus' clothing rack.Thinking of the 'what-ifs' if they were imperfectly right for each other instead~A song fic based on Shawn Mendes' 'Perfectly Wrong' where right after 3x18 where Alec goes inside a coffee shop hoping an espresso in his and Magnus' happy place would calm him down only to see it doing the opposite as he hears a song inside the cafe that shatters his heart, that was already broken, even more.





	You're Perfectly Wrong for Me

**Author's Note:**

> i decided to write this in Alec's POV because I usually see 3x18 fics based more on Magnus' POV and I just wanted to have my own interpretation of how Alec handled the break-up because he was obviously also in so much pain. Also, Shawn Mendes has many underrated songs that people need to appreciate more like this one, go check his music out :)). 
> 
> did i mention there's going to be angst in this?

“One latte and a bagel please.” Alec said weakly smiling at the elderly lady taking his order. 

“Dearie, you don’t have to tell me your order, you come here almost every day. A cappuccino for Magnus I take it?” She said scribbling down on her notepad not noticing Alec’s façade slowly disappearing from his face.

“He won’t be coming today, Elise.” Alec said struggling to keep it together. His whole body wished it didn’t happen, that Magnus would walk through the doors of the café any minute now, greeting Elise with a smile while sitting down beside Alec, holding his hand.

But sometimes, things change.

“Oh, busy at work or sick with the flu?” Elise questioned as she made Alec’s coffee. It was a quiet Halloween today for the café, with Alec and a few kids who just wanted some donuts before trick or treating, not that either Elise or Alec minded since they wouldn’t have their usual chat if a lot of customers were around.  
Alec contemplated whether he should tell her the truth or just lie and say Magnus got sick, but he figured he did enough lying for the day, maybe too much lying than he would’ve preferred.

“I- uhm-“ At this point Elise sensed something was wrong and stopped preparing Alec’s order. “Alec, what happened?” Elise questioned adjusting her glasses to see Alec better only to see him crying quietly, sniffling gently as an attempt to not make it obvious.  
“We broke up.” Alec said as Elise handed him his coffee and put the plate with his bagel on the table. “I-I broke up with him, he’s not happy anymore Elise and he deserves to be happy so I-I let him g-go.” Alec said letting himself breakdown. He looked like a mess, hair all ruffled, red eyes, cloggy nose, coffee stains on his shirt as he failed to drink the coffee properly while crying. Even the kids on the other corner stopped chatting and gave him pitiful glances wondering what ever could have had happened to cause him to look that miserable. 

“Oh sweetie, come here.” Elise said hugging Alec, remembering her youth when she was also once heartbroken by a man she deeply loved and the pain that it caused. “I’m not going to ask you for the details because I know how hurtful it is to relive those memories, but I’d be damned if you don’t think he was happy with you. If only you saw how his eyes lit up when you were around or how big his smile was whenever you said something funny. I know I’m in no position to judge whatever happened, I’m just the old lady who owns the café you go to every morning after all, but if it’s meant to be, you will find your way back to him again. If it really isn’t, well, maybe I need new glasses then.” Elise said chuckling softly, “I’ll give you some space to clear your head, but Alec, whatever’s destined for you and Magnus, it’s all going to happen in the end and you just have to hold on to that.” She said as she gave Alec one last look before she left him to ponder in his thoughts.

Meanwhile, Alec was still crying. He wasn’t one to cry loudly, even when he was a kid he didn’t like being the center of attention, so he always cried to himself. He got a text from Izzy on his way here, frantically asking him why a shit load of his personal stuff was inside his office, but he didn’t have the guts to reply. To admit to her that he had done what Asmodeus wanted. To confess that he broke the heart of the person he’s cares about the most.

He doesn’t know how he’s going to do it- go to work tomorrow and act like everything’s fine, move on with his life with the knowledge that he lost Magnus, and return the Lightwood family ring and explain to his mom what had happened. He’s clueless without Magnus and he fears that he’ll just go back to being the lonely workaholic sappy Shadowhunter he was before Magnus entered his life.

A beautiful melody that played through the shop stopped Alec drowning from his thoughts. It seemed strange since Elise usually just used the speakers for announcements and not music, but maybe a little bit of music was just what he needed to numb the pain away.

Taste the poison from your lips   
They leave, we’re as good as gone

“Stay with me.” The voice of Magnus echoed through the walls of Alec’s empty heart as if to remind him of what he had done. He remembers the way Magnus had kissed him, calling him Alec instead of Alexander, begging him to stay. Alec wanted to stay with all his heart, with his whole being, but he knew what he had to do for Magnus’ happiness. So Alec pulled away, tasting the saltiness of Magnus’ tears on his lips, leaving Magnus as a form of confirmation that their relationship was really over. 

Oh our love is drunken in,  
Singing me my favorite song

“Dance with me.” Alec looked up to see Magnus holding out his hand while turning on the radio to play Frank Sinatra. Alec was never really much of a dancer but he obliged anyway, sometimes stepping on Magnus’ feet as they slow danced causing Magnus to laugh. They continued to dance, Alec not noticing that he had gotten the hang of it, eyes locked on each other with hearts beating livelier than it ever did. It wasn’t a very synchronized or graceful dance, but somehow their clumsiness just made it more beautiful and magical. Alec blinked again then realized he was back in the coffee shop, Magnus nowhere to be found, their dance just a figment of his memory.

Me and you we were made to break  
I know that’s true but it’s much too late

He remembered people telling them a relationship between a Downworlder and a Shadowhunter was bad news. Their worlds were too far apart and they were simply just too… different. Yet they decided to risk it, to take the leap of faith and follow their heart to each other. Their relationship was a bomb waiting to explode that they had tried so hard to deactivate. But no matter what they do, trouble keeps coming their way, their lives always in the face of danger, and their love always put to the test. Now, it’s over but the damage had been done. He knew what he was getting into, knowing that love killed more people than demons, and Shadowhunter weapons combined, he just didn’t think it would be this painful. He thought they could change the rules and stereotypes of their world through their love but now it all just seemed impossible and foolish.

You’re perfectly wrong for me  
And that’s why it’s so hard to leave  
Yeah, you’re perfectly wrong for me

Alec sat still, leaving his coffee cold, and bagel untouched as his mind wandered into the darkness as his heart closed itself off. Nephilim love once fiercely and Magnus was that ‘once’. Alec knows it will never fade, his love just as evident, if not more, as his pain. Maybe if given the chance he could do it differently way back from the time they had only been playfully flirting with each other, Alec still would choose to fall in love with his warlock all over again. If he felt eternal pain in exchange for even a glimpse of bliss with Magnus, Alec would gladly take it. They were perfect for each other yet the odds were against them, fate had gotten in their way and Alec had to do what he had to. 

You’re perfectly wrong for me  
All the stars in the sky could see  
Why you’re perfectly wrong for me

Alec came to the conclusion that he was to blame. He brushed away so quickly the idea of Magnus not being okay with his powers gone as Magnus had reassured him once. He was stupid to not see the signs that Magnus had not been doing okay. It was his fault, his words, that tore Magnus apart just about an hour ago. He was so happy with the thought that there was a chance they could grow old together that the idea of Magnus not being as happy didn’t occur to him. It was so obvious even the stars in the sky would see. He was mortal, Magnus wasn’t, they weren’t meant to be.

Oh, you know how much it hurts  
Every time you say you hate me

They could never stay away from each other, never even think about hating each other. It pained the both of them whenever they fought because they were both equally stubborn, but they didn’t let those arguments hinder them from being happy together. Therefore, what difference does it make if Alec didn’t let himself become a burden or hindrance to Magnus if it meant Magnus could have his magic again? It pained Alec to say what he had said, that the spark inside of Magnus was gone because no, to Alec he was glowing, radiating with love, the spark very much alive, but he could take the pain if it meant Magnus wouldn’t feel any of it.

But when we're making love, you make it worth it  
Can't believe the places that you take me

“Paris? Or how about Egypt? Or maybe Japan?” Magnus asks in Alec’s mind. He remembers when they would go to museums, theme parks, bars, fancy restaurants, pretty much anywhere together. The small moments, Alec thought, were the ones that made it all worth it. The look in Magnus’ eyes whenever they held hands, the way he’d fix Alec’s jacket causing Alec to blush, the tiny little kisses they’d casually give each other whenever they’d feel like it because it felt like heaven, their cuddles and sweet nothings after making love, Magnus attempting to teach him how to cook, Alec finally knowing how to produce the perfect cocktail, and just about anything Magnus did at just about any second. Even when they were fighting, his heart beat for Magnus and maybe with all these secret, treasured memories in his brain, his heart will still choose to beat and live, not for him, but for what once was the great love story of Alec Lightwood and Magnus Bane.

There's no use, we were made to be  
I know the truth, and it's much too late

Maybe if they were normal it would’ve worked out. If they were mundanes maybe they would’ve ended up together. Maybe they’d just meet in college, or in a coffee shop, or in a library and experience love at first sight. Alec refused to believe that they weren’t meant to even see each other. No matter what alternate universe, they’d always cross paths because that’s how destiny worked for them. It was destiny that brought them together but it was fate that pulled them away. 

Oh, and why I can't quit  
When you break my heart open

This wasn’t the first time they broke up, Magnus had tried to end it a while back because of his duty as the High Warlock of Brooklyn and because Alec had broken his trust by not telling him about the Soul Sword. Alec thought that that could’ve already been a warning that it wasn’t going to work out in the end, that they’d somehow just end up apart. Maybe if he didn’t approach Magnus at the party they’d still be okay, not happy, not broken, just okay. But he did and now here they are going through the same cycle. It broke Alec before and it’s breaking him again. He couldn’t stop loving Magnus before and he’s not stopping any time soon. He was the one at fault before and Alec is still the one at fault now. Alec wondered if history would ever stop repeating itself or are the angels just playing with us, watching the world commit the same mistakes and have the same foolishness over and over again. 

I need you more than I know  
Oh, and I can't resist when you're up against my skin  
I never wanna let you go

Alec wonders if it’s too late to go back to the book shop and just tell Magnus everything. He needs Magnus and without him, Alec is lost. He didn’t- doesn’t want to let go. He wants to wake up with Magnus next to him every morning, to see Magnus in his element brewing potions and whatever warlock business he was up to, to smell the scent of his perfectly brewed shampoo, to be happy with Magnus, but that’s not possible. It’s selfish, to go back there and explain the deal to Magnus causing him to lose his magic forever, so he doesn’t go back and decided to stay where he was. The thought of Magnus’ magic coming back to him any minute now, filling up the void that Alec could never even try to subdue was the only thing keeping him going, the one that made him pull away even though he wanted to kiss Magnus back. Because then, at least one of them would be happy.

Yeah, you're perfectly wrong for me  
And that's why it's so hard for me  
Yeah, you're perfectly wrong for me, yeah

He’ll get over it, Alec thinks. It may hurt Magnus now, but one day he’ll get to move on, forget about Alec, and find someone who he would love as much as he loved the Shadowhunter. It’s hard for Alec, to entertain the idea of seeing Magnus with someone else but that’s what he deserves. He doesn’t deserve to live a life without magic, to be with a mortal, more so a Shadowhunter, whose life is always at risk, he deserves someone who can cook, who can dance, someone who Magnus will never feel the need to sacrifice his magic for, someone who can give everything that Alec never could because he’s not perfect. So why bring Magnus down to someone so imperfect when he could be free and have someone for the better. Alec repeatedly thinks about this, trying to convince himself that he did the right move, that it’s all going to work out for Magnus in the end.

Oh, you're perfectly wrong for me  
Hate that you know that I won't leave   
Yeah, you're perfectly wrong for me

At some point, Alec stopped crying. Maybe he doesn’t have any tears left to cry out. Whatever the reason is, he felt numb. Somehow he realized being numb is way worse than feeling pain. When someone feels pain, it’s like a reminder that a part of you is still there. That you’re still human (Alec is definitely not human but you get the point). But now, Alec’s numb. He doesn’t feel anything, he couldn’t feel anything, and it gives him a sense of fear that what had happened broke him completely and there’s no way anyone, even himself, could do anything to fix it. He remembered how Magnus had reacted when he had said he needed a break and the way he thought it was a vacation and even massaged his shoulders. He doesn’t deserve Magnus. The trust that they had, had taken so much time to build yet with one conversation, Alec destroyed it. Magnus was so confident Alec wasn’t talking about them breaking up and when he realized what Alec was trying to say, the way his smile faltered and the way his face grew wary, it stabbed Alec right through his chest. Magnus was perfect for him. He’s Alec’s world but Alec isn’t Magnus’. And there’s nothing Alec can do about it.

So he leaves his payment on the table, giving a weak smile to Elise as the song had finished and exited the café quickly before his legs would give in and stop working, not noticing the figure of a certain warlock watching Alec as he passed by, looking as broken as Alec, listening to a song Elise had sent him.

**Author's Note:**

> again, shout out to Gracee who still refuses to make her own account and just reads and puts kudos as a guest smh (thanks again for mentioning me on your ig though ily)
> 
> also should I make a Magnus version of this or nah?


End file.
